My Journey · Personal · Series

My Journey (Part 9): Confessions

In the last post I made about my journey toward studying the Oneness of God in depth, I chronicled how I became convinced that both sides of the Trinity/Oneness exchange needed to be open to more dialogue. In this final post, I’m going to draw together what I’ve been discussing and state where I stand at the present time of writing.

It’s possible to gain knowledge in the wrong ways and for all the wrong reasons. You can either learn things so that you can think yourself superior to others, or you can behave like a student who is subject to his master. For much of my life I wanted to learn so that I could be the best. And all throughout my life I was recognized for doing well academically.

But it isn’t enough to think you’ve arrived. If you think that you have learned all there is to know about something, you are engaging in an elaborate game of make-believe. You will simply never plumb the depths of knowledge about anything. If you think you know enough, that’s evidence that you don’t.

If what I’ve just said is true, it is true to a greater extent in relation to Christianity. The very center of the Christian worldview is its God. And God, being infinite, can never be confined. Nevertheless, there are things that we can know about him, and those things are the most important truths that anybody can ever learn.

What really matters in life is knowing who God is in his nature. Now that I’m married and having children, it’s time to use everything I’ve learned (and will continue to learn) to answer this question: Is God absolutely and indivisibly one, or not? Is God one being and one person, or is he one being and three persons? Or (as James White likes to put it) is God trinitarian or is he unitarian in existence? This question (and all its variations) excites me and bothers me. It has become the central question of my life.

Make no mistake: I currently attend a Oneness Pentecostal church. I have to confess I’m doing so mostly out of the sake of convenience: it’s simply what I’m familiar with. But let me confess something and be absolutely clear: I am agnostic about whether or not the Oneness of God is true. That is, at the present time of writing, I cannot say I believe one side or the other of the Trinity/Oneness exchange.

This may not be orthodox, but I’m also going to confess something else: The Oneness Exchange is my way to personally document my journey. I’m doing this first and foremost for my own satisfaction. At the same time, if I don’t get this right, then my entire family is in jeopardy. I am concerned more about them than anything else.

Even so, I can’t do this entirely on my own. I’m hoping that you will be willing to join me on this journey and get involved with it as much as you can. All of the effort, and the struggle of it all, will be worth it when we find God.

To close out this series, I will leave you with this:

Need it concern me if some people understand [that God is eternal and unchanging]? Let them ask what it means, and be glad to ask: but they may content themselves with the question alone. For it is better for them to find you and leave the question unanswered than to find the answer without finding you.

—St. Augustine, Confessions, Book I, Chapter VI (Penguin Classics Translation)

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